Dealing with Difficult People

Too many people stress over working with “difficult people” and are constantly frustrated because nothing ever seems to change.

We expect others to change without considering the changes we should make in our own behavior which is part of why the “difficulty” exists.

“True insanity is continuing to do the same thing but expecting a different result.” – Albert Einstein

The first step to learning how to deal with difficult people is to learn how to interact productively and positively by modifying some of your own behavior.  If you continue interacting the same way you always have then you will continue to be frustrated…just as you are now.

When someone is difficult to work with it’s because of one or more of the following reasons:

1. Low self-worth / self-esteem.
2. Lack of ownership.
3. Lack of knowledge or skill sets.

Steps to take when communicating with any difficult person?

1. Be proactive (initiative)
2. Begin with the end in mind (the end result you want)
3. Put first things first
4. Think “win, win” (we win)
5. Seek first to understand  and then be understood
6. Sharpen your own skill sets
7. Be flexible
8. Commit to a solution

Conflict resolution techniques:

1. Tell it like you see it and put everything on the table
2. Use “I messages”
   • I feel…
   • I want..
   • I need..
   •  I am..
3. Do not accuse
4. Be willing to listen
5. Create agreeable solution
   • How can we resolve this?
   • How can we put this behind us?
   • What can we do to move forward?

Again, you must adjust your own approach if you wish to see positive improvement when working with difficult people.

Recommended books:

• “Who Moved My Cheese” By Spencer Johnson
• “Be a People Person” By John Maxwell
• “Fred Factor” By Mark Sanburn
• “Boundaries” By Henry Cloud